Appeasing Kidmin Leader

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. –Winston Churchill

It’s hard to lead trying to appease everyone. In the end you can’t. Leaders often appease because they do not like confrontation. Over my many visits and talks with children’s leaders, I’m finding that this could be one of the major hurdles in leading children’s ministries.

The quote above gives a stunning visual of what appeasing eventually does. Eventually, you will get eaten up by criticism, stress, bad attitude, etc. You can’t lead let alone live by constantly appeasing. By constantly acceding to their demands as (as appease is defined), we allow others to highjack the vision that God has placed in us as leaders.

As a children’s leader you must write out what is negotiable and non-negotiable in your ministry and then stick to it. It’s okay to appease some people, sometimes on some of the things that are negotiable. An example of this could be that you don’t care if there is hand sanitizer by the doors, but you’ll appease the “germ-o-phobes” by placing some by the door. Another example could be that you don’t allow non-background checked adults to work with children. That is probably a non-negotiable for most and you can’t appease the team or adult who wants to work with kids just because it’s easier or for whatever reason.

Do you have any stories of how you did or did not appease? I’d love for you to share it.



  1. GREAT article! One thing we are struggling with is having our workers replying to emails or returning phone calls in a timely manner. Is this something that others are struggling with as well? Should this be something in which I appease others by not being too demanding or is this something that I should put a non-negotiable tag on and say within 72 hours there must be a response. Thanks and I look forward to hearing your ideas.

    1. Totally up to you what you think a non-negotiable should be. My advice is that non-negotiables have to do with safety and security, beliefs, etc…However, if it’s that important to you and people aren’t doing it, I’d have an honest talk with those who aren’t returning emails and phone calls and ask them why they’re not doing it. Perhaps you’ll find out they didn’t realize how important it was to you OR maybe that’s not the best way to communicate. We’re becoming more and more mobile. Maybe texting, Facebook, face-to-face is more effective. Personally, our ministry communicates a lot of different ways and we usually will communicate however easiest for the volunteer. When you become a leader in our ministry then there is a specific way we communicate. I hope something in there helps. Another great person to contact when it comes to non-negotiables would be Allyson Evans from

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